June 26, 2003

JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT IT WAS SAFE... MAYOR BUBBA!

By James Eugene*

It has actually been somewhat of a boring few months in New York City government. Oh yes, there are budget battles going on, and rent control is up for renewal, and somebody is about to tell you that the world is going to end because this program did not get funded or because this tax was just instituted. Frankly, for us former government hands, it is something of a case of "been there, done that." Although, I must admit that it is amusing to listen to the current government bureaucrats all trying to explain away why this fiscal crisis is the worst ever. I have news for those "Chicken Littles" making these claims: the worst fiscal crisis is always the fiscal crisis that you are facing.

However, just when I thought that I had absolutely nothing to write about along comes the Clintons. Not Dewitt. This isn't a history column. I mean Bill and Hillary.

I have read excerpts of Hillary's book. I must confess, after reading just a few excerpts, I wanted to barf. I have only read one President's memoirs (Gerry Ford's "A Time to Heal") and after that I pretty much figured they were all the same. I mean let's face it, are these guys actually going to look at themselves with a critical eye. Do we really expect them to say, "Hey, I screwed up on that one and should have had my head examined"? Of course not. So I guess I should not really expect much from Hillary, even if she was just a co-President. I mean even if there was a right wing conspiracy against her and her husband (and believe it or not, I think to a certain extent there was), did Hillary have anyone but herself to blame for the universal medical coverage fiasco? I don't need to read her book to know generally that there would be a pro-Hillary spin on that one. Which spin might be an interesting question. There are many she could use. The old lobbyists everywhere ruining things? How about the establishment seeking to teach the new kids on the block a lesson? Or even big business protecting its interests? There are others too, but why bother listing them. Read the book if you want to see which one. I'll pass. Her book does present an interesting question. If history is looked at through the rose-colored glasses of one of the protagonists, is it history or fiction?

But let's forget about the Senator from Ark-Illinois, eh, I mean New York. I nearly crashed while driving my car when I heard the news that Bubba was thinking of running for mayor. No, I was not shocked by the news, rather I was laughing too hard.

Now they call being Mayor of New York the second toughest job in America behind the Presidency. They are wrong. It is the toughest and due to term limits it got even tougher. (Here I am sort of telling you that I have reached the conclusion that while the new Council is bright, energetic, and engaging, term limits does not allow them to exercise restraint, which often is just as important as getting things done. This Council is eager to implement everything now, because in eight years they will be gone. But sometimes timing is everything and some of the items the Council has passed are inappropriate for the City to absorb in bad budget times.)

In truth, every Mayor will tell you the job is tough because ultimately New York City does not control its own budget. Albany and Washington both control portions of it and the City has to go a-begging every year. Yes, Albany and Washington both give money to the City, but all of the money comes with strings and restrictions and other goblins that Mayors always bemoan.

But ultimately, that is something that is true for almost every Mayor across the country. Federal and State mandates are the bane of all local governments. What makes New York City worse is just the pure insanity of the different constituencies? Case in point, New York is the real estate capital of America, yet about 75% of New Yorkers rent their residence. This is almost the inverse of the rest of America where 70% own their residence. Now combine the power of a real estate industry against a group, tenants, that has directly opposite interests and you get insanity.

New York City also has the most complex race and religious relations in America. For the most part, everyone gets along. But we are so diverse that a slight in one community is a compliment in another. For example, a few years back, the deceased Cardinal O'Connor called the Holocaust a great offering of the Jewish people to God. A good portion of the City's Jewish community went ballistic thinking O'Connor was ridiculing them. It took a Jewish Mayor, Ed Koch, to explain that Catholics believe in offering up their suffering as a gift to God and that O'Connor had actually offered high praise.

Now I could go on and on about the insane reality of New York government and its constituencies but who needs to. You read it in the paper every day. (One of the most amusing pieces in a newspaper I ever read was a political column about reinventing government by a political scientist who said that you could only reinvent government in a rational political environment and in New York City, politics was not rational.) But why do I actually want Bubba as the Mayor?

Bubba, whether you like him or not, is a great communicator. He may be long-winded, but he connects. He feels your pain. (Please don't laugh too hard on that one… I mean I couldn't resist.) In government, I always said that a Federal bureaucrat should never spend more than two consecutive years in Washington because unless you are part of local government you cannot understand how Washington has no clue. I want Bubba to be Mayor simply to communicate how hard it is to be Mayor because Washington has no clue. Forget about Bubba whining about a right wing conspiracy, he can whine about Washington, telling them how they have no clue. For years, Mayors have tried to communicate this message to no avail. Let's give Bubba a shot.

And I just have this message to Bubba: run and win and I promise to take you to Scores for one evening only. After that, you are on your own.

And PS to Mayor Billionaire. Trust me, if Clinton runs, you're dead meat. You could spend every penny you have, and you would still lose 60-40. Maybe worse. So forget about any brave front.

BYE BYE TILL LABOR DAY:

Yes folks, even snide columnists need to take a break. Since I do this column for fun, I get to call a few of my own shots on the timing of the columns. So unless the urge really hits me, you, all two of my readers, get a break until after Labor Day. No applause please.

Editor's Note: James Eugene will take a break for the summer. That opens the door to submissions on NYC politics. Send your "Inside the Big Apple" column to epeditor@emirepage.com.

* James Eugene is the pseudonym of a veteran of NYC government affairs. Inside The Big Apple will appear exclusively on the Empire Page. If you want to send tips or column ideas to James Eugene, email them to jameseugene@empirepage.com.