January 6, 2003

THE MIND OF A "MARRIED" POL.

By James Eugene*

Now that term limits have wreaked their havoc for over a full year and Mayor Bloomberg and Speaker Miller have had a chance to digest being the leaders of this City, we thought we would peak into their minds and listen in on their thoughts as they take stock.

Mayor Bloomberg

Wow, what a job! I thought heading up a business was a rush, but this is even more fun. I have decided that I actually like this job. It is one thing to own your own business and play with your own money. But it is nothing like playing with other people's money. And I have over $40 billion of it to play around with.

Of course, I don't get to play with $40 billion. Hell, I hardly get to play with much at all. After all the funds I need to pay for salaries to the police, fire, sanitation, EMS, teachers, the homeless, welfare recipients, well, when you get through with that, I barely have a plug nickel left. But at least I get to claim credit that I am the one spending. Which is generally a good thing, unless you write for the NY Post.

But I must confess, the thing that stunned me in this job is all the people who want a piece of me. I thought spending $70 million would make me an "independent" politician. That will be the day though. Whether you like it or not, you need other people on this job. If I want to raise property taxes, I need to talk to the Council. If I want to raise other taxes, I need to see the State Legislature and the Governor. If I want an anti-smoking bill, I need to see the Council. If I want to look good in the press, I need to appease the good government groups (and so many of those guys were my friends before I became Mayor, how come they are so mean to me now?). And if I ask for something, they all want something back. Trips to the Caribbean and dinners at my mansion are not enough it seems. Sometimes I even wonder if I can dip into my own pocket to fix part of the deficit, but then I would probably need to talk to the Conflicts of Interest Board. (Then again, if I gave a corporate contribution to fix this deficit I would have to give so much I could only justify it if they changed the name of this town to "Bloombergville".)

No, it is a tough job being Mayor, but I have good people around me. Thank goodness for Marc Shaw, a real prince. Couldn't do it without him. And I have some good Commissioners. I can win reelection. It make cost me a cool $100 million, but it's doable. I just won't raise property taxes anymore. And remember to sprinkle some money around to the campaigns of some key pols next Christmas.

Speaker of the Council Gifford Miller

Ever since I was elected to the Council, I worked hard, I politicked hard, all with the goal of becoming Speaker. Thank goodness it was me. Imagine if Angel Rodriguez was the winner. Talk about "City for Sale." Jack Newfield and Wayne Barrett wouldn't have even seen the half of it.

And I am the most experienced Council Member. Who else could lead this body? No one gives me any credit for dealing with almost forty neophytes who needed serious guidance in their first year. Each of these folks wanted to be my best friend, and half never knew me! Each of those folks was convinced they could save the world before being elected. Then reality kicked in. (How I wish Manton and Ramirez had talked to these guys first.) And they complain to me if I tell them they cannot legally do something? Unbelievable that we actually got through our first budget without me having to duel with someone at forty paces. It gave everyone a reality check, and then, of course, the bitter pill of a tax increase in November. But they finally know that you can't spend what you don't have. Except, of course, for those six who voted against the increase. They think they can have their cake and eat it too. Doesn't happen, even in politics.

But I do wish the members would concentrate on what we can do. Still so many resolutions, leaving us subject to the old rubber stamp syndrome. I hate that stereotype. I know Vallone fought that for 15 years, not with much success and now I have to fight it too. You can't win with the press. You do something good, they don't cover it. You have a great oversight hearing, ripping the agencies one day, and the next day the press is ripping you for doing nothing about that same agency. You ask them if they went to the oversight hearing. They ask "what oversight hearing"? Meanwhile, they don't actually take the time to see what you are doing. And when we ask them why they don't pay attention, it is because we are not "entertaining" enough. Politics may be entertaining, but government is not supposed to be.

Still, it's better as Speaker, than not. But I need to figure out what I am going to do in three years. Bloomberg can run for re-election but I'm stuck. I could run for Manhattan Borough President, but after being Speaker, that would be a real downer. I could run for Mayor, but Bloomberg would outspend me to death. No amount of hustle could overcome that. Damn, if the City were only flush with cash like the good old days (circa 1999), I could lower taxes rather than raise them, add programs, rather than cut them. Hold it. That didn't work for Vallone. What does work then?

Hey buddy, can you spare a billion?

THE PANEL I MOST WANT TO SEE.

I propose that Crain's NY or the Citizens Union (ah hell, they can be strange bedfellows and do this together) hold a breakfast for all the Bloomberg Commissioners who used to head or be affiliated with good government groups (I'll be generous and concede their actual goodness for the purpose of not being confrontational). I want the Commissioners to talk about their perspective and how it has changed since they are now "on the inside."

We are so used to talking about Council Members' learning curves. But Commissioners with little or no government experience often have an even steeper learning curve with more responsibility. Some ultimately recant positions they took while as head of a good government group (those recantations are my personal cherished moments that just warm my heart, followed closely by those moments when the Commissioners adopt the positions of their predecessors whom they usually had criticized). It would be interesting to hear the perspectives of Michael Cardozo, Amanda Burden and others about learning the true workings of their agency -- something they may not have truly understood while they worked for their goo-goo. Of course, as they recant past positions, I can hear the current goo-goos say how their old friends have been corrupted by the process (I always chuckle inside when I hear this). I propose the moderator be Joseph Strasburg of the Rent Stabilization Association, a former government pragmatist with a touch of idealism (the best type), who can ask the hard questions.

Hey, I'm serious here. I may even attend! That is, if this publication pays for me.

* James Eugene is the pseudonym of a veteran of NYC government affairs. Inside The Big Apple will appear exclusively on the Empire Page. If you want to send tips or column ideas to James Eugene, email them to jameseugene@empirepage.com.